angry

I am so tired of being angry all the time. I just read that last post that I wrote and I sound so angry. It's not like things are going wrong in my life, but it sure does seem like everyone is out to piss me off. I feel like I've surrounded myself with a bunch of people who are out for only themselves. I don't understand how you can be in the education field and be out for only yourself. I mean your job is to watch over and look out for children. Does that mean to you it's then okay to screw all the adults around you? I just don't understand. And what I don't understand the most is why I'm left in the cold everytime and no one seems to notice. The first one quit, and then the second one came. I thought she was going to be great and we would be a team, but at the first chance she got she bolted. Then I got number three and we were not a team at all. There were times when I really thought you were teaching something completely different than me. I love her as a person, but a team mate she was not. Then bang she was fired because she messed....which some how became my fault....another story for another time.....then came number 4 and I feel bad but I don't want anything to do with her. She is so nice, and I think she would be a great person on my team. But I'm tired of getting burned. I like her as my friend, and don't have a problem helping her at all. But it really bothers me that I can't help but keep her at a distance.

I don't want to leave because of the children, but I think this place is really making me an angry person. I'm so angry because of the horrible people I'm around all day. There are some really great people too, but when the whole office is bad? This all makes life too hard! At the moment I don't feel like the good out weights the bad.

Good:
1. the kids (LOVE them).....that is a big one.....
2. the teachers I do like and get along with, and that they are there to work as a team....
yeah that's about it....

Bad:
1. all the other teachers....oohh expecially that one that called me a bitch the other day!
2. the office
3. iss
4. ohhhh.....the list could go on and on....but it gets me angry again.....and I'm tired of being angry......

I don't want to be an adult anymore! How do I go back? The only good thing I've got going on right now as an adult is my amazing husband that loves me more than I can even imagine.

ooohhh.....I just want to not be angry anymore.....

Ok I am going to start fresh....I am going to find at least 3 positive things per day and hold on to them....I want them to be different each day...we will see how long this lasts :) I'll keep ya updated....

angry = tired!